the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry

Yesterday we were invited to go to an Orchard with a pumpkin patch, petting zoo and tons of playground equipment and corn mazes for kids. Can't you just see me? I dressed the girls in highly saturated autumn colors, matching pants and shoes and did their hair meticulously. I then packed my bag with healthy snacks, a water bottle, hand sanitizer, my camera and an extra camera battery. I popped in my newish digital card so I could potentially take hundreds of photos. You know the photos I speak of....picking the perfect pumpkin, daughter grinning in delight whilst feeding baby goats and my girls with sun shining on their ginger hair, tousled with straw. (sigh.) Can't you just see it?

"But Emilie, where are the pictures?" You ask.

There are none.
None of those magical things happened.
The day was crap-central.

We arrived just at the usual time when Evangeline would take her nap. I unloaded the girls and we headed into the gorgeous orchard. It was not too warm, but the sun was out...an absolutely perfect day. We met up with my friend Loni and headed first to the petting zoo.

I bought a handful of feed, demonstrated the flattened hand technique, gave Ella a handful of feed and turned on the camera. Ella took one looks at those goats and freaked,screaming "I'm Scary!" and fast-pitched her handful of feed at the goat's head. I then, with my most gentle and nurturing mother skills, dragged her towards the baby goats while she kicked and screamed. Evangeline was no better. We then rounded out or petting zoo excursion with screaming and running from pigs, baby chicks (how ferocious) and a calf.

So I decided to ditch the group and took my kids to a playground. They had a big fancy one with tube slides and climbing walls, but it was crawling with kids, so we opted for a smaller, more manageable wooden train with a small slide coming from the side. Sounds harmless right? Nope. As I was trying my best to pull Evangeline's upper body from the octagonal window in which she was stuck, Ella began to shriek and do the jumping dance of a child who is truly hurt. I could not figure out what had happened until she began to hyperventilate and then realized she had a large splinter from the wooden train stuck in her finger. And that was the beginning of the end.

She wailed, non-stop, for the next 2 hours. And when I say non-stop, I mean she barely took breaks to breath. I was able to remove the splinter by laying her on the playground grass, pinning her down and pulling it out with tweezers from my purse as she thrashed and screamed "Stop hurting me! Don't you kiss my finger!" at full volume.

Other parents steered away from us as we stood in line to get their PB&J sandwiches since Evangeline had started screaming and biting my arm...meaning that she was beyond starving. I got them their sandwiches, apples slices and fresh peas followed by fresh churned ice cream and still Ella sobbed. She sobbed as I braved the Farmer's store to pick up some fresh Apple Cider donuts and sobbed as I realized my debit card was missing and had to drag my children back to the food stand to get it and return to the store to pay. She then sobbed all the way home from Elkton, MD to New Castle, DE. She then took a nap in which she periodically awoke so she could sob some more.

Scrapbook that one!

It's kind of funny how these days spring out of nowhere, but we all have them.
As I wrote this and as I told Matt we had a good laugh.
And yes, I keep tweezers in my purse for emergency eyebrow plucking.