This & That Thursday

So, my Australian friend mentioned her son getting to feed an Echidna at a zoo. I have no clue what an Echidna is so I google it.  

"Oh, a little porcupine sort of anima......wait, what's this?" 

First of all, quit humiliating innocent Echindas. Second, someone has a series detailing the 'World's Most Terrifying Penises'? So many issues here.

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I miss Cafe Rio.

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It was a genius publicity stunt for Disney

to order the Polar Vortex to coincide

with the theatrical release of Frozen.

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I have recently realized that I am a pretty strict parent.

I'm super-fun too, but I don't allow my children to behave badly

or they WILL feel my wrath.

When did parents get so soft?

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The Ahern family savings plan is buying stuff we THINK we need,

but don't really need and returning it to WalMart later

to get in-store credit to buy stuff we actually DO need

like toilet paper and baby formula.

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Tomorrow is Noggy New-Year's last day with us.

The kids are already begging for him to stay.

It's been fun, but I'm done for this year.

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When are healthy people going to admit 

that green smoothies taste pretty gross?

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Don't tell my husband I said this, but 

Willie Nelson is SO overrated.

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Earlier this week while in the car...

Me: Eva needs to use the bathroom.

Matt: There's a Hooters right there. Should I pull over?

Me: What?! NO! We're not taking our daughter into a Hooters!

Matt: What if there's nowhere else?

Me: Only if I cover her eyes the entire time while constantly barking into her ear 

"Go to college! GO TO COLLEGE!!!"

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Just so you know, after a few days I totally HAD

to watch the Enchida Penis video.

How could I not?

It was kind of fascinating.

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Brave Women | Malala Yousafzai

I shared this video recently that makes me cry every time I see it. Despite my tears, I realized I am not totally familiar with each of these amazing women's stories. So I decided to share them here in case you weren't familiar with all of them either. I will just give a very brief overview and then provide links where you can get more information on these inspiring women.  I plan on sharing these stories with my daughters.

MALALA YOUSAFZAI

In late 2008, Aamer Ahmed Khan of the BBC Urdu website and his colleagues had discussed a novel way of covering the Taliban’s growing influence in Swat: Why not find a schoolgirl to blog anonymously about her life there? Their correspondent in Peshawar, Abdul Hai Kakar, had been in touch with a local school teacher, Ziauddin Yousafzai, but couldn’t find any students willing to do it. It was too dangerous, their families said. Finally, Yousafzai suggested his own daughter, 11-year-old Malala. The Taliban had already blown up more than a hundred girls’ schools. Then they set an edict that no girls could attend school after 15 January 2009. Five days later in her blog, Yousafzai wrote that she was still studying for her exams: "Our annual exams are due after the vacations but this will only be possible if the Taliban allow girls to go to school. We were told to prepare certain chapters for the exam but I do not feel like studying."

After the BBC diary ended, Yousafzai and her father were approached by New York Times reporter Adam B. Ellick about filming a documentary. As Yousafzai became more recognized, the dangers facing her became more acute. Death threats against her were published in newspapers and slipped under her door. On Facebook, where she was an active user, she began to receive threats and fake profiles were created under her name. When none of this worked, a Taliban spokesman says they were "forced" to act. In a meeting held in the summer of 2012, Taliban leaders unanimously agreed to kill her.

On 9 October 2012, a Taliban gunman shot Yousafzai as she rode home on a bus after taking an exam in Pakistan’s Swat Valley. The masked gunman shouted "Which one of you is Malala? Speak up, otherwise I will shoot you all", and, on her being identified, shot at her. She was hit with one bullet, which went through her head, neck, and ended in her shoulder. Two other girls were also wounded in the shooting: Kainat Riaz and Shazia Ramzan, both of whom were stable enough to speak to reporters and provide details of the attack. After an operation to remove the bullet, Malala was in a coma for six days.

On 15 October 2012, UN Special Envoy for Global Education Gordon Brown, visited Yousafzai while she was in the hospital, and launched a petition in her name and "in support of what Malala fought for". Using the slogan "I am Malala", the petition's main demand was that there be no child left out of school by 2015, with the hope that "girls like Malala everywhere will soon be going to school". Brown said he would hand the petition to President Zardari in Islamabad in November.

The petition contains three demands:

1. We call on Pakistan to agree to a plan to deliver education for every child.

2. We call on all countries to outlaw discrimination against girls.

3. We call on international organizations to ensure the world's 61 million out-of-school children are in education by the end of 2015.

On 12 July 2013, Yousafzai's 16th birthday, she spoke at the UN to call for worldwide access to education. The UN dubbed the event "Malala Day". It was her first public speech since the attack, leading the first ever Youth Takeover of the UN, with an audience of over 500 young education advocates from around the world.

"The terrorists thought they would change my aims and stop my ambitions, but nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born ... I am not against anyone, neither am I here to speak in terms of personal revenge against the Taliban or any other terrorist group. I'm here to speak up for the right of education for every child. I want education for the sons and daughters of the Taliban and all terrorists and extremists."

Watch her entire UN speech below or by clicking here.

Malala has written a book called I AM MALALA which you can buy here.

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Brave Women

I have seen this commercial on TV twice now (and watched it again just now when finding this for you) and every time I cry like a baby. Like, the ugly cry.  The sobbing starts at Malala and gets louder when Antoinette Tuff says "I Love You".

I am proud to be a woman.

We are powerful.

We are strong.

We are awesome.

We are brave.
We can change the world.
YOU can change the world.

If you can't see it on this blog CLICK HERE.

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Fashion Wrap-Up: 2014 Grammy Awards

Nothing makes you feel old and lame like watching the Grammys.  Do I even know half of these people or half of these songs?  Nope.  Young whipper-snappers!  But that doesn't mean I can't critique their fashion.  Let's begin.


CRIMES OF FASHION

 

Ariana Grande looked weird and retro...in a bad way.  Why of why did she wear this awful gown?  It was a big night for Pharrell Williams, but he looked like a damn fool in his five-gallon-mountie-hat. 

 

Creepy flesh-tone vinyl dress anyone?  Skylar Grey looked gross and sweaty.  Zendaya looks ridiculous in this ill-fitting disaster.  Is one boob pocket 2 inches higher than the other? Yep, looks like it.  Also, probably steer clear of gowns with boob pockets all together.

ANIMALS GONE CRAZY

Paula Patton looked pretty weird in this zebra get-up.  Did anyone else notice the zebra/lions are fighting over her collar-bones?  If I ever got to meet Carole King I would die. If I got to sing with her I would die all over again.  And if that chance-of-a-lifetime came I definitely would show up dressed as a chicken with dirty braids that had hair tufts straying from them.  I'm looking at you, Sara Bareilles.

 
LACE DISGRACE

Paris Hilton, You have A LOT of money. Hire someone who can make you a dress where the zipper doesn't bubble.  Sheesh!  People are going to love this white lace number on Beyonce, but I don't.  It looks pretty trampy to me.  I don't want to see your under-boob and side-boob and middle-boob. Sorry, Bee!


ALMOST

Rita Ora almost got this right, but the fit was a bit too tight. Particularly across the chest.  It was squishing her boobs.  Alicia Keys looked good, but this dress is all wrong for her body shape. It really emphasized her pear shape.

Colbie Caillat's red dress is literally trying to attack her. Nice color and fit, but the chokey looks odd.  And her bun doesn't look stylishly messy, it looks un-stylishly sloppy. I really liked everything about this look worn by Kacey Musgraves except the dress length. I wish it had gone to the floor instead of stopping at the ankle. It threw the proportion off.


GREAT

Ciera turned it OUT even while preggers. Gorgeous!  I really loved this look on Pink.  She looks like a glam rock star. It's not overdone, but it's not boring.

I know it's crazy, but I really liked this look on Madonna. She's Madonna. She can't show up in a standard black gown.  She looked cool.  Chrissie Christine Teigan could have looked like a disco-ball in this gown, but somehow she avoided it.  It just looks dazzling, not be-dazzled.

BEST DRESSED

My very best dressed is a tie.  Miranda Lambert....WOWZA!  That red is perfect. Those ta-tas look fabulous and the old Hollywood hair and make-up paired with blue earrings. I die.  Gorgeous.  This chain-mail looked divine on Taylor Swift. I can even forgive her for the seizure-hair-whipping during her performance. But, what the heck was that, anyway?



CREEPY McCREEPIEST RAPPER DRESSED UP AS A CLOWN

This guy was....wait, I can't do it. It's just too stupid. The name, the look and everything else.  Sorry Lil' Clown-Face 5000 or whatever your rapper name is.  I don't even have words.

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One Little Word 2104 - January

I mentioned here that I have joined the ONE LITTLE WORD class by Ali Edwards this year. I have been SO inspired so far! Here are the digital pages I made from the January assignments. I used the digital templates I designed for Ali and, of course, felt the need to design a mini kit for myself to match my theme of WORK with the symbol of a Bumble Bee.  Yellow, greys, black, honeycombs and bees!

I have been completing bits & pieces of the prompts since January 1st. This week I sat down and put them all together (digitally). I added an additional page because the definitions I found on dictionary.com sparked a landslide of inspiration! That was an unexpected happiness!  AT the end of the year I will print all of the finished  from each month into a book using Blurb or Shutterfly.

( title page )

( page 01 | left)

( page 01 | right)

( page 02 | left)

( page 02 | right)

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This & That Thursday

Smiling under a Barbie blanket. 

I'd like to say this is the first (or even the last) time 

Jude has been emasculated in this way, 

but it's neither.

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The potty training of Bianca is

NOT going well.

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I made a yellow cake from scratch

with custard filling and homemade chocolate frosting

for Chachi's birthday.

It was a total FAIL.

Curse my mother and her cake-mix-loving ways!

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I hate to admit this, 

because it makes me sound weak and gullible, 

but I am the poster child for the placebo effect.

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Chachi and I saw "American Hustle". 

I'm not sure it lived up to the hype, 

but Amy Adams' performance 

absolutely lived up to the Oscar nom.

She was a-MAZE-zing!

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Can everyone on the Internet 

please stop calling their children "Littles".

It's getting super-annoying now.

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Matt asked me about six months ago to make a Bucket List. 

He'll make one too and then we'll work on making the lists happen.

I only have about 4 items on mine.

One of them is moving to Paris for a year.

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I really want to love reading East of Eden.

More than you know.

But it's kinda hard for me.

Don't worry, Emily and Jeanette, I will soldier on!

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I am doing pretty well on my 

One Little Word for 2014.

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From October-February in Pennsylvania

my feet are always cold.

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The film  The Age of Innocence 

is a FANTASTIC movie version of a fantastic book.

I credit Martin Scorsese.

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6

Potty Training on a Snow Day

We're trapped inside the house anyway, right?

2

My Poison Pen for the GSA

We signed both of the redheads up for the Girl Scouts of America last September. Evangeline's Troop has been fantastic!  We're currently in the throws of selling (and eating) GS Cookies.  She has earned badges and made friends.

Ella's Troop has sucked.  I volunteered as a parent helper.  There was no meetings. No communication. Nothing. Months passed.  I emailed anyone and everyone I could think of.  Last week I finally penned a letter explaining our experience from teh beginning and ending with this.....

I am extremely disappointed in this experience. We spent all of the money to register, buy patches and troop numbers, sew them onto the vest, buy the manual we were asked to buy and all of our money has been eaten by GSA with NO return. I had assumed that the GSA would find a way (as efficiently and quickly as possible) to make sure the children registered would be able to participate. My daughter's money has gone into the GSA fund and she has not even had one minute of time logged with the GSA so far. We are moving this Summer and, at best she will get a few months of this experience.

I am planning on filing a more formal complaint on the State level about our experience with the GSA unless something dramatic changes regarding my daughter and her GSA experience in the near future. This was supposed to be a positive, esteem-building experience for her and instead she has been devastatingly disappointed over and over again. PLEASE assign my child to another Troop a.s.a.p. so that she can get at least SOMETHING out of this. Otherwise we will be requesting our registration fee back, although we can't recoup the cost of her outfit, badges, etc.

And, what do you know? I got a reply within hours saying they would fix it.  That was the middle of last week. Then this morning I got an email from a Troop Leader from a neighboring school named Jen.  She was amazing and kind and so ready to welcome Ella with open arms and make sure she fit right in. 

This afternoon Ella attended her very first Troop Mtg. with her new troop.  I was FAN-tastic!  The girls were making apple cups to donate to a local food bank.  Ella was SO PROUD that she peeled the apples by herself.

I wish I hadn't had to get all rowdy to make something happen, but I'm so relieved that something finally got taken care of and Ella can participate.  Should I have to be a Bi@#* to make things happen? No. But sometimes you just have to.

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40 Books (wait...25 Books): My 2014 Reading Goal

In lieu of the A to Z Reading Challenge, this year I am wiping the slate clean and making a goal of reading 40 books in 2014.  I still wanted a place to record them here on the blog, so here it is! I will link the titles to my GoodReads reviews as well.

01. Hyperbole and a Half  by Allie Brosh

02. Songs of Willow Frost  by Jaime Ford

03. Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan

04. East of Eden by John Steinbeck

05. Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt

06. Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham

07. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

08. The Persian Pickle Club by Sandra Dallas

09. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

10. Gather Together in My Name by Maya Angelou

11. Singin' and Swingin' and Getting' Merry Like Christmas by Maya Angelou

12. The Heart of a Woman by Maya Angelou

13. All God's Children need Traveling Shoes by Maya Angelou

14. A Song Flung Up to Heaven by Maya Angelou

15. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

16. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

17. Never Have I Ever by Katie Heaney

18. Maman's Homesick Pie by Donia Bijan

19. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

20. What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

21. The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty

22. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

23. The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale... by Jeanne Birdsall

24. Mollie Makes Embroidery by Mollie Makes

25. Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris

0

Eva's Art

We saw Frozen once. Once. 

Evangeline drew this yesterday without looking at any reference material at all. I am amazed.

( "Frozen" by Evangeline  |  1/18/2014 - Age 6  |  Marker on paper  )

Then today she drew this cute little girl and her dog.

( "Molly and her Dog" by Evangeline  |  19 January 2014 - Age 6  |  Marker and Pen on Paper  )

 

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Fashion Wrap-Up: 2014 SAG Awards

Something is going on with this Award Season. There's a lot of horrid fashion out there!  Once again, my list of BAD outweighs the GOOD.  Sad times, people.

BESTEST

Elizabeth Moss looks gorgeous in the look. The gown is perfectly fit and the color! I die. Those lips to match are gorgeous.  Perfection.  I wasn't initially sure how I felt about the asymmetric neckline on Amy Adams' dress, but it grew on me and I like the vintage hair.

Hannah Simone looks gorgeous in this vinatge gown. I like her hair and minimul jewelry.  And who is excited to keep watching the fashion of Lupita Nyong'o?! ME!  She has a stylist and they are hitting it out of the park!  That color!!!

Jennifer Garner looked fantastic. She looks classic and chic.  And Holly Hunter brought it in this simple, yet chic red dress. I adore the huge cocktail ring and her hair is divine!

WORSTEST

Oh Cate Blanchett! How could you?! Cate Blanchette wore this awful dress.  In her interview with E! she looked totally uncomfortable, not sure where to put her hands with that crazy fabric in front.  Ugh.  Amanda Peet looks cray-cray. The leaves, the leather. The stripes, the sheer fabric. Brown, navy, black...ack!!! 

Mayim Bialik is not known for her great fashion choices. THIS is why. It's so bad I can't even find a place to begin.  Same thing goes for Juliet Lewis. Never good, this was no exception.

Ummmmm....I'm sorry......what? Julie Bowen wore a sin wrapped in bad taste wrapped in cheap fabric. Kerry Washington looks SO weird.  Yes, she's 6 months pregnant, but you can't really tell in this gown. She just looks BIG.  The crop-top hung very oddly. It was just bad, bad, bad.

Sandra Bullock didn't totally misfire on this one, but the fabric is where my problem lies.  It looks very Bridesmaid, like it's taffeta. Right?  Ariel Winter....we've talked about this before, remember?  You are currently 15 years old. FIF-TEEN. Put those boobs away, kiddo.

BAD IN BLACK

Meryl Streep was really gunning for my WORST DRESSED award.  Holy gross.  frumpy, saggy, dumpy.  Tina Fey....hello Morticia Adams! Awesome body, bad fashion choices.


JEWEL MISFIRE

Sofia Vergara looked good in this gown, but adding the matchy-matchy jewels went too far.  It's way too much sparkle in one look.  Anna Gunn had a similar problem. Amazing gown, but the earring were too matchy and too big.  Small diamond earring would have been perfect.  Also, weird handbag.

BEST DRESSED

Jennifer Lawrence likes to wear HUGE ballgowns to these things, so imagine my delight when she showed up in this sleek number that fit her to perfection.  That hair, make-up and jewels are just right!

WORST DRESSED

Julia Roberts wore a jumpsuit. A freaking JUMP SUIT!  Nooooooo!  She looks to disheveled, too unstructured and too jump-suity!

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WEIGH IN: Who were your best and worst dressed of the night?

P.S. Rita Morina is AMAZING!

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Friday Fave: Parent's Guide on IMDB.com

We love movies.  But the MPAA rating system seems pretty flawed.  I have seen some PG-13 movies much more offensive than some R movies. And who can forget the full five minutes of full frontal male nudity in the PG rated "Room With a View"?

So, when we want to see a movie we are not sure about we always check IMDB.com.  They have a fantastic Parent's Guide that breaks down everything in a movie that could be objectionable so you can make an informed decision.  Here's how it works. (I used the movie J. Edgar for this example, which was a great movie and should not have received an R rating in my opinion).

1. Go to IMDB.com

2. Type any movie name into the search bar and select that movie.  It will take you to a screen like this...

3. Scroll down to the area beneath the list of actors appearing in the film. You'll see a MPAA rating explanation followed by this link called VIEW CONTENT ADVISORY.

4. Click the link and this screen appears with everything you need to know.  You'll notice that some areas are covered by a bar that says "SPOILERS!"  If you hover your mouse over that the spoiler banner will disappear and you can see the content beneath.

This has been an incredibly helpful tool for our family. We have even used it for PG rated movies for the kids so we know if that means a character says a real swear-word (like damn it) or just uses potty humor (like farting).

*For MORE Friday Faves CLICK HERE.

6

My Matty

- He used to have long hair in High School. I'm so glad he didn't by the time I met him because that's a deal-breaker.

- He is passionate (oh, stop being creepy!).  When he gets into a new adventure he jumps in with crazy passion.  This passion has led to, among other things, a collection of wild and wacky instruments.

- He loves his family.  Like crazy.  Every single one of our kids has preferred him over me as infants. And I'm cool with that.

- He makes me laugh. Insanely. Until I can't breathe.

- He loves the beauty in the world.  Nature, opera, literature, ballet. He has read Sense & Sensibility and the move version is one of his favorite films.  We talk about the difference of Willoughby in the book and the film.  We see operas together. We love art museums.  He has an opinion about clothes and has more clothes than I do.  Sometimes other women have learned about these attributes and joked that he is gay, or femme, but I've always thought that was straight-up jealousy, because their husbands wouldn't be caught dead defying the world's macho stereotypes.

- He fell in love with me, even though I weighed 250+ pounds.  This, to me, was a miracle.

- He has the most beautiful voice. Ever.

- He is honest. Almost too honest.  Sometimes when he is sick I suggest he stay home from work. He won't, even if he's crazy sick, because people are depending on him.  So, basically forget about him ever playing hooky from work. Not happening. Trust me, I've tried.

- He gets along with everybody. Everybody loves him.  No joke. Everybody.

- He loves cooking and shares me foodie sensibility. We always watch Top Chef together and comment on the recipes and try new ones ourselves.  It's really fun to share this.

- He serves others all the time.  He always helps others move. He always fills my water bottle (like, 4 times a day).  He always gives his all to his callings in church.

- He never yells when he's mad. THIS is incomprehensible to me since I am a stellar screamer. It's my anger outlet of choice.

- He is always fair.  Sometimes I'm like, "And then (insert someone's name here) did THIS! Can you even believe that?! Crazy, right?!"  He he always thinks and then says, "I can see where they are coming from. Think about it from their perspective."  It's kind of annoying, but it's also kind of amazing.

- He hates video games.  I love this about him. nothing ruins relationships (and Thanksgiving) like a husband spending 4 hours a day playing World of Warcraft.

- He's a hands-on Dad.  Once I was planning a girl's weekend with some friends and, at the last minute, one of the women had to bow out because her husband wasn't willing to watch their kids for 48 hours. He said he didn't want to be with them for that long because he wouldn't even know what to do.  I was flabbergasted.  Then I realized this is kind of common.  I have been spoiled by a husband who changes diapers, irons little pink dresses, watches kids when I'm sick, does their hair, and acts like an equal partner in parenting.  Even now, Matt and I switch off nights, giving Jude his 3 am feeding.  Even though Matt has to go to work in the morning, he knows that I also go to work in the morning...in our home.  He shows his respect for my job by sharing the load.

- He loves sports, but isn't a weird-o about it.  Sure, he screams at the TV and cheers on the Steelers. He lives for the Olympics.  But it doesn't consume him to the point of overtaking every part of his life.  If his team loses he isn't a freak about it.  if someone walks in front of the TV by accident he doesn't scream at them.  Seriously, writing this post makes me realize that other men are kind of jerks, right?

- He's a good friend. Not just to me, but to his guy friends.  He continually contacts his friends from Utah to see how they are and talk about their lives.  He cares enough to keep contact.

I could go on and on, but the point is, he's amazing.  

And I adore him.  

And I'm glad he was born.

Happy Birthday Happy-Chops!

After I die your second wife is gunna be one lucky woman.

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