Dear Lancaster County,

You've been pretty good to us so far.
I mean, we love our house and our backyard
I love the weather and we have made wonderful friends here.
But, could you try your hardest to not be quite so....
small?

I know, it's a tall order,
but I haven't seen a pointy-toed shoe in almost a year.
Nor have I had good Greek food (except when I made it myself)
Your museum selection leaves a lot to be desired
and I have seen way to many perms for my liking.

And can you please help me out with a real creme brulee?
(not one that is instant vanilla pudding with barely browned sugar on top).And maybe a restaurant that serves lomos saltado or a street stand with a nice falafel?

I know, I shouldn't try and change you.
I knew what you were when I entered this relationship...but these days,
I am longing for a 3rd floor apartment on the upper east side of Manhattan.
No parks, no lawn, just noise and people and culture.

Your reluctant resident,

3

It Figures...

For most of my life I have been saying that I know a little about a lot, but not a lot about a little. I play a variety of instruments fairly, but I am not proficient at any one instrument. I am good at crafty stuff, but not an expert at any particular craft.

Tonight I was watching Top Chef Masters and all of the sudden I had a revelation...

I know a LOT about food.

And this is not intended to toot my own horn, since I just mentioned how mediocre I am at almost everything....except food. Because I think I could realistically say that I know significantly more about food than the average person. I wasn't conscious of this until recently when a number of people in my circle of acquaintance have asked me about food disasters they have had and where I think they went wrong. In every case I could pinpoint there error, and that made me realize, I am kind of a food genius.

Part of that is food knowledge, part of that is cooking and baking experience and part is having experienced a wide variety of cuisines all over the world. I know what's in ceviche. I know what the difference is between pancetta and prosciutto. I know what a perfect creme brulee should feel like on my tongue. I think Gordon Ramsey is sexy. I have had steak tartare. I own a culinary torch and I'm not afraid to use it.

So there it is...I am a Foodie.
My one true gift.

5

Home Town Food

I looove watching Food Network. It's pretty much the greatest cable television channel ever invented. And they have a fairly new show called "The Best Thing I Ever Ate" where chefs tell their favorite foods in a certain category.

Tonight's episode was on Hometown Favorites and it got me thinking about my own Hometown Favorites. So I thought I would share a favorite Restaurant and dish from each place I have lived since I was married.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Logan, Utah
The Italian Place
Order: The Killer Sandwich

This little hidden restaurant is a great place to hang and read a newspaper, but an even better place to get a hot sandwich. They have a large griddle top and they make your oozy-cheesy hot sub right before your eyes. The Killer has turkey, sauteed onions, mushrooms, eggs, cheese and garlic on it and MAN, is it good.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Brigham City, Utah
Bert's Diner
Order: The Chicken Fried Steak

Simple the best chicken fried steak I have ever had. When we lived in this grossly small and unexciting town, Bert's was a sanctuary of good food that became a tradition for our date nights.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

South Salt Lake City, Utah
Blue Plate Diner
Order: Eggs Benedict

Eggs Benedict has always been one of my favorite foods and The Blue Plate offers it up in many different ways. This place truly LOOKS like a dive, but the food is amazing!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Clearfield, Utah
The Argentine Corner
Order: Sweet Onion Empanadas

I still dream about these on an almost daily basis. These authentic Argentine empanadas are filled with oozy cheese and caramelized onion. ALL of the empanadas are fantastic, but I could eat heaps of this variety in one sitting.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

New Castle, Delaware
Serpes Italian Bakery
Order: Whole Wheat Pizza

This Italian bakery offers everything from artisan breads to canolli to pies and cookies, but the super star is their whole wheat pizza crust. Flavorful, light and delicious. And the authentic Italian American's working there will have you saying Ba-Da-BING by the time you receive your order!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mount Joy, PA
Papa's Pizza
Order: Sal's Stromboli

I could drink the sauce from this local pizza joint. It is so fresh and delicious and the Sal's Stromboli is a lethal combination of Grilled Chicken, Sauteed Onion, Roasted Peppers and Mozzarella Cheese wrapped in a crisp thin crust and baked until golden brown. Of course, there's a side of the yummy sauce. I don't think I could ever eat pizza from a chain again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

{Please add you OWN favorite to the comments section. I will add it to this post and we can compile quite a list of places to go while on trips around the US!}

14

Dear Grandparents, et al

I know this blog has had a sad lack of photographs of the Grandchildren lately. But the computer died a horrid death and, until we can afford a new one, occasional photos will have to do. However, the children ARE still alive and thriving.

Here, see for yourself...



Nothing makes a girl happy quite like Arby's.





Except maybe tacos on Cinco De Mayo!





Bubbles in the backyard.





Chalk drawing on the front porch.





Evangeline just lounging around on a Sunday afternoon.




The girls all dressed up, glittered and ready for the church kid's talent show. Evangeline did a dance to "I Want You Back" by Jackson 5 and Ella sang a Demi Lavato song from "Camp Rock" with her Daddy dueting as Joe Jonas. Oh, a don't worry, Ella's legs aren't actually unhinged, she is just crossing them in this picture.

3

2nd Trimester Fake Boyfriend

When I am pregnant I have absolutely crazy dreams.

But the most recent ones are very odd indeed.

In my dreams I have a fake dream boyfriend. Now, fake boyfriend is not from one dream, but a long series of dreams over the past 3 weeks or so. His name is Mark Judd and we are in the throws of early dating. I have recently met his family for the first time.

He is tall and has dirty blond hair and is kind of a commitment-fobe...so I am taking it slow so as not to scare him away, giving him space and all that. These dreams are oddly uneventful...as uneventful as the first few weeks of dating are. Awkward first date. First hand-hold, first kiss and now the meeting of the family. Oh, and Mark drives a motorcycle, very bad-boy don't you think?

Just to clarify...I am VERY happily married.
But in my dreams, there is NO Matt Ahern.
Just Mark and me.

Creepy isn't it?

Please tell me someone else has these crazy

2nd trimester dreams when they're pregnant!

11

A Few Updates

.
Ella:

- Is preparing for this Friday's Church Talent Show. She originally said she wanted to plant seeds for her talent. Then, once she caught sight of Hannah Montana brand hair glitter wands at WalMart, declared that she would be singing instead. A glittery costume is being constructed before then.

- Recently saw Joan rivers on TV and exclaimed, "Mommy! How come that old lady doesn't look old?!!"


Evangeline:

- Is also working up a number for the talent show. She has requested to dance to "one more chance" which is "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5....I couldn't be more proud! A second glittery costume is being constructed before then.

- Has taken to pretending to be asleep merely to get out of walking from the car into the house...even in mid-day hours.


Matt:

- Is getting ready to start his new job at the beginning of June. There will be a tough transition period where he is training a replacement at his previous job and training at his new one. Busy weeks ahead.

- Broke out his meat smoker for the inaugural run last weekend. He made two full chickens...one Carolina Bar-B-Que and the other garlic and citrus. They were both to die for!


Emilie:

- Is loving her new sewing machine, but still dying inside without a computer. Maybe money really DOES buy happiness...LOL!

- Is in the 2nd trimester and is no longer morning sick...YAY! But I am now in full nesting mode. Cleaning, organizing, rearranging and tidying. The gender ultrasound is in 3-4 weeks and I cannot remember when I was more anxious to know the gender of a baby. Will it be another little red-headed girl?

4

Word Homey...

.
Evangeline: Mom! Ella called me a name!

Ella: No I didn't!
Eva just called ME a name and then said I called HER a name....
that's how she rolls!

4

Conquering Ella's Nightmares

Quite suddenly and without warning, Ella began having nightmares about two weeks back. She would come and climb into our bed and cry when we took her back. We told her to try praying and singing church songs, but to no avail.

A week or two back she was up crying about nightmares at 1:00 AM, 2:00 AM, 2:30 AM and finally at 3:00 AM I got up with her and tackled the problem.

I took Ella downstairs to our kitchen table and got her some crayons and a blank sheet of paper. I told her to draw what was scary in her dreams. And let me just tell you that what she drew scared ME. It was a tall, half man/half spider with black skin and multiple creepy legs. He was wearing a black and red dress and had the head of an alien. The picture was indeed grotesque.

Then we looked at the picture together and I said, "Ella, YOU are the boss in your dreams. YOU have the power and YOU are in charge. What do you want to say to this scary guy when you see him?"

Ella said, "GO AWAY!"

Then I said, "The next time you see him in your dreams, I want you to point your finger in his face and scream at him. Say 'I'm IN CHARGE! You GO AWAY!' and he will have to leave."

Then I had her take the picture and yell at it, "I'm IN CHARGE! You GO AWAY!" and then she ripped the picture into tiny pieces, with each rip saying, "I'm the boss, I'm in charge, you go AWAY!"

And then we flushed all of the tiny pieces of paper down the toilet while she continued to curse him out in the same manner. She went to bed without problem.

The next morning when she climbed into my bed for snuggles I asked how her dreams were. She replied that they were great. That she had dreamed about ponies and candy. I asked if the scary spider man ever came back. She looked at me surprised and said matter of factly, "What do you mean? He can't come back into my dreams. I flushed him down the toilet."

And we have had absolutely no sleep disturbances since. I'm not sure if it will work for every kid, but it really worked for us.

9

Wha' Dat?!

There is some indescribably
funky
horrid
disgusting
smell in our basement that cannot be found out.

I have scoured the toy bins for
some sort of half eaten sandwich,
dead rodent
or other life form
with no success.

Heaven help us!

9

During last week's Glee...

Rachel Berry said,
"Let's start by singing some Classic Rock".

And then she began singing "One" by U2.
Ummmm.....Classic Rock?
Have I turned from 32 to 50 years old without knowing it?

I immediately called Emily Foley and exclaimed,
"One by U2...seriously?
That came out in like 1992....that was only.....
oh wait, is it possible that 1992 was almost 20 years ago?"

It's official....we're old lame people now.
There's no stopping it.

9

Book Review: Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass

by Frederick Douglass
★ ★ ★ ★ ★

I went into reading this book (as with most autobiographies) anticipating a greater insight into the conditions of pre Civil War slavery in the Southern U.S. since it is written by one with firsthand experience. I was not disappointed.

Frederick Douglass writes in chronological order from his earliest memories to his eventual escape from slavery and life in a Free state (New York). His writing is honest, brutal and yet beautiful. His simple telling of his experiences drastically changed certain set ideas I had formed on slavery from years of schooling and reading.

One of the very interesting items which I completely changed my opinion on was singing among slaves. My taught perception has been a view of slaves singing to make it through the day and boost their spirits. Frederick challenges this notion specifically and lends the only singing ever done by slaves to be out of mourning and fear. He recalls the wretched songs of slaves going to be traded as the most harrowing sound he ever heard and dispels the myth that singing was ever used to rally emotionally.

Among this book were many more realizations and new ideas which have swirled in my mind since finishing and have now become part of the base line of knowledge and understanding I have about that most dreadful practice.

This book is well worth reading and I recommend it to older teens and adults looking to understand the human condition during this era in U.S. history.

Have YOU read this book? If so, what did you think?

2

this & that

Yes, that last post was how I told Matt about Baby #3.
I found out that morning and went to the store and bought the fortune cookies.
Then planted my own fortunes.
It was pretty darn fun.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Still functioning (barely) with this crappy temporary computer.
Hoping to get a new one soon.
Until then....not many pictures are making it out of my camera and unto this blog.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Today I am heartbroken at women who don't understand their own value.
Women who are content to "fix" a man who has treated them badly but has "changed".
Ugh.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I decided that I may be a sexist.
Do you think it is a bigger crime for an adult daughter to disrespect her Father...
or for an adult son to disrespect his Mother.
I believe the latter is a much greater crime.
But does that make me unfair?
Go ahead and weigh in.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I have been very very morning sick up to about two weeks ago.
Now I feel like I could take on the world
(or at least finish the quilt I started).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I really MUST cover up this grey hair soon.
When was the last time I dyed my hair?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I had a long conversation with the 5 year old last night about
inner beauty...which led to a conversation about divorce...
which led to a conversation about my biological father.
And both times this has come up I have done my best,
but cried afterwards and wondered if I am totally screwing up this Motherhood thing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

6

The Chinese are so Wise

Back in the beginning of March we had a special family date night. We had Chinese food...a favorite of everyone but Evangeline. After we ate our stir fry and rice we had fortune cookies with the funnest fortunes in them...


( due - nov.10.2010 )

46

My 3 Moms

Happy Mother's Day to the women who have helped raise and inspire me.

Nainy - My Mom. She taught me how to cook, sew buttons and love Motown music. She is strong in her faith and I hope someday I can learn to value hard work as much as she does.

GG - Granny Bannatyne. Who helped raise me, taught me that walking everywhere is super-chic and who loved me unconditionally even when I was a horrid teenager.

Louise- The best Mother-In-Law in the world. Who is an example of righteous constancy, always decorated with balloons on my birthday to make me feel special and who is a wonderful Grandmother to my kids.

These wonderful women have taught me how to be a strong woman, a loving mother and a committed wife. I love each of you!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

2

The Curse of the Ahern Breakage...

Remember last week when suddenly our cell phone, computer, air conditioning in our van, home phone and dvd player broke?

Well, yesterday during a very important and time sensitive sewing project my sewing machine gave up the ghost.

Seriously?
It's as if some evil curse has descended upon our household.

I am thinking of getting a new one.
I am very loyal to the Brother brand.
Anyone know anything about this model?

So now the only question is....
Which one of you has a voo doo doll with my face on it?
LOL!

11

why i heart craig's list

I recently went looking for some Summer clothes and pajamas for the girls. I decided to look on Craig's List and found a listing from a family 30 minutes north of us. It was for a lot of 30 girls clothing items for $20. SCORE! Well, when we drove out there to pick it up the Mom said she had found more bins of her daughters gently used clothes and we could have it all for $50. I picked up the first bin and spotted pants and a coat from Gymboree in perfect condition followed by a pair of Jeans from the Gap and a pile of Old Navy tops with tags still on them.

SOLD!

We came home and I went through each item, folding what was ready to be worn now, packing away what will fit this Winter and weeding out any unusable pieces. And in the end we had scored 88 usable (and almost brand new) items.

88 items for $50 = .57 each
ohhhh yeahhhhh!

3

Woot Woot for The Hubbs

The Hubbs recently went through a series of interviews with various higher-ups in the Lancaster Regional Medical system. They had asked him to apply for a job opening within the company which was recently made vacant.

It's was a month long process with many freshly ironed white shirts, pressed suits and waiting, but HE GOT THE JOB!

He is leaving his position as manager of Lincoln Family Medicine and will now be the manager of the Gynecology/Oncology Department AND the Hematology/Oncology Department of Lancaster General Hospital.


Of course, we are as proud as punch of our man!
The new job starts at the beginning of May and we are thrilled as he moves forward with is career.

YAY MATT!

12

R.I.P.

Today we bid a fond farewell to the Ahern family HP Pavillion Slimline computer. The HP joined the Aherns in early 2006 and has served faithfully until April of 2010, when it succumbed to a total failure caused by a haywire power source.

The computer saw us through many a good time. Through digital scrapbooking, family movie editing, the creation and maintenance of multiple blogs and the editing to thousands of meaningful photos throughout its years of service. It lived in three U.S. states in its four short years of life.

Our HP is survived by an extremely crappy Averatec laptop, which was purchased to aid Matthew through 2 MBA's and has been sitting under the desk for the past two years due to it's inability run programs and it's patchy Internet connection. It has now returned to lend its still-crappy quality to our daily computer needs.

Our family mourns this loss and looks forward to the time when we can purchase a new desktop computer to fill the void in our shallow, computer-addicted lives.

Rest In Peace, old friend.

3

the jam report

an essay in pictures...

2

All Things Random...

I think I may have started an addiction to canning. My good friend Amber helped me can some homemade Low-Sugar Strawberry Rhubarb jam and it is being inhaled by all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I should hear back from the computer doctor today as to if they can fix our crashed computer. I am in a state of panic.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

In the grand tradition of all things going to pot at once our DVD player broke, our Cell Phone has a mysterious crack in the front, our home phone is patchy and our Mini Van is having trouble starting. Oy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The new season of Glee is not quite doing it for me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Spring is here and I am LOVING these sunny days. There is much sidewalk chalk, bike riding and water play happening at our house. Not to mention flowers in bloom everywhere and a Farmer's Market overflowing with juicy ripe strawberries.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Has a play date set today for the girls and is excited for them to get to have hours of fun with their friends. Maybe the imaginary friends can finally take some time off.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

3