We Adopted a Dog - Part I

In the Spring/Summer months it was suggested that we try and get a therapy dog for two of our kids. One was struggling with loneliness and the other with a severe fear of dogs.  I looked for months at shelters and animal rescues and classified ads.  I didn't want to BUY a puppy. I really wanted to adopt.  Sarah McLachlan made sure we all hear her singing in our heads when we even consider buying a dog from a breeder.  In the arrrrmmms...offfff....an annnnngelllllll..... (cue: sobbing).

We needed a dog with a very specific set of characteristics...

- small in stature

- not a puppy

- adult age, but not so old that it would die within a few years

- short hair

- not too barky

- not too excitable

- chill and very snuggly

- able to handle a chaotic house with 2 kids under 3 years old

- potty trained

It didn't seem possible.  I had more than a few failed attempts where I talked with dog foster parents and found out that pretty much every dog that is chill is also unable to handle small children.  Then, over the Thanksgiving weekend, the Utah Humane Society had a free adoption event.  We went, as a family, on the Friday after Thanksgiving.  What a disaster!  It was so crowded and chaotic that poor Ella had to stay in the car and we could barely even move, let alone bond with small dogs.  We left with no dog and a crying Evangeline.

Over that weekend the Humane Society adopted out 250 dogs!  It left their shelter pretty bare.  I was watching their website for new dogs to come in and they finally got some strays transferred from a shelter in California.  Because they were new transfers, there was very little information on the dogs online.  On December 3rd, I screen-captured pictures of the five small dogs that were not puppies and not seniors and we dropped Ella off at a birthday party and headed to the shelter.

One of the dogs I had looked at online was a little white chihuahua named Kringle.  I spotted him immediately when we entered the small dogs area.  He was going berserk. He was jumping and yapping and wiggling and trying to climb the walls of his small enclosure.  He shared this enclosure with Mulligan, another small dog I had bookmarked.  Mulligan sat on the side of the enclosure, calm as can be, while Kringle went bananas all around him.  This was a good sign.

I went into the small enclosure and was immediately assaulted by Kringle.  Mulligan sat quietly while I pet him.  We asked for a leash and I clipped it onto Mulligan and we went to a small, private, room where families can visit with pets.

Once in the small room Mulligan sniffed around, let us pet him, and remained silent.  Even when Jude accidentally kicked Cecilia in the face while flailing around on the bench, Mulligan took it in stride.  This was promising.

After walking him around on the leash and letting the kids pet him (and fall in love with him) Matt and I had a serious talk about the dog.  We decided to adopt him.  I went through a mini training with a Humane Society employee, filled out loads of paperwork, promised not to chop the dog down and sell him for parts to experimental procedures (no, really. I actually had to promise them that), bought him a leash, and away we went!

On the drive home Mulligan sat on my lap.  The poor dog was shaking like a leaf, but soon calmed down and relaxed in my lap. Now he would face his toughest hurdle of all: meeting Ella.

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This and That Thursday & Children in Dog Kennels

For hours today

Jude and Cecilia fought over who got

to crawl into the dog kennel and close

the door, locking themselves in.

In related news: We are horrible parents.

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Best New Comedy = Speechless

Best New Drama = This Is Us

Watch them.

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‪Across all party lines,

from sea to shining sea,

every woman in American just wants to wake up one day

and be Gwen Stefani. ‬

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You guys,

This app has REVOLUTIONIZED my recipe organization.

I got it for half price around Thanksgiving.

Even at full price it's worth every penny!!

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My current celebrity crush is Trevor Noah.

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I have Tennis Elbow.

The doctor actually asked me if I play tennis.

I laughed and then told him I have Irish Twins.

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I can't stop singing

Bunny and Kitty

from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

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It feels good to be blogging again.

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Jude asks to watch the original Star Wars every day.

I am ecstatic about this.

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My hubby's birthday is on Monday

and I'm so excited we get to be the same age again.

Next year is gunna suck when I am 40

and for 3 months he is still in his 30's.

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Let's Make a Deal

One of the things I am doing in 2017 is blogging here more.

So I want to strike a bargain with you.

Yes, you.

If you ever read anything on my blog that incites rage,

or you think is dead wrong,

or makes you want to text/email/facebook nasty things to me,

just say to yourself, 

"Man, Emilie is such an idiot. She knows nothing!"

I'm giving you full permission to think that.

Even say it out loud if it makes you feel better.

Then, move right along.

We'll ALL be happier and healthier.

Deal?

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That time my husband gave a speech about being fulfilled in marriage and in response I swore at him.

Last year my husband and I were having a conversation about marriage. He mentioned a female co-worker who had shared with him a really heartfelt story about the end of her marriage to her husband.  That, after many years of marriage, she had left because she wasn't fulfilled and that she wanted to show her daughters that they didn't have to settle for being unfulfilled in a marriage they were stuck in.

And then I said a swear word at him.  

It was more of a swear-phrase really.  

It's one I never say because it's outside of my first-tier swearing wheelhouse.

It was bull$#!*

Maybe I'll regret this later. 

Maybe I'm an idiot. 

Maybe I'm totally naive 

and just plain wrong.

But I feel like it's kinda bull$#!*

Now, obviously there are marriages filled with abuse and affairs and other atrocities.  But that wasn't what this woman was describing.  She was describing growing apart. Not agreeing on things.  Not "filling each other's needs".

If I ended my marriage after a really awful year (or years) of feeling really unfulfilled then our marriage would have ended in late 2011.  Our kids would have been torn between their parents and their lives altered forever.

Does my generation (where so many still have married parents) realize that the point at which your parents told you they were divorcing lives forever as the defining moment of your entire life? (You guys, I didn't even HAVE that moment since I was 18 months old when that moment happened and I don't remember it and it STILL defines my life).  

Do spouses realize when they end their marriage that their children have to tell this as part of their story.  That every first date, every life sketch, every new roommate they meet...they will include that sentence, no matter what? "My parents divorced when I was insert age here."  Because it will.  I don't think we take this seriously enough.  I'm not sure my generation realizes that their divorce will effect every. single. relationship. their children have from that moment on.  That siblings of divorced parents are even more cruel to each other.  It's kind of awful.

I'm not trying to be judgmental of this group of divorcees.  I'm just kind of baffled and heart broken by this (seemingly) new generation of my peers ending their marriages because they aren't happy anymore.  

Sometimes marriages are miserable.

Sometimes marriages are miserable for a long time.

Sometimes you look at your spouse and think,

Holy crap. Is this the biggest mistake of my life?

Sometimes you look at your spouse and think,

I hate this person. A lot.

But I don't think you have to leave.

I'm sacred of the thought of that leading to the ends of marriages.

My husband and I have been through the depths of hell.  Yeah, it's figurative, but it almost seems like this could be a moment when I make Millennials proud and say "literally".

But we keep going.

Because we said we would.

We said we would stay married even when it was hell.

Even when we were each other's least favorite person on earth.

Even when we felt completely "unfulfilled" and even "unhappy".

Even when we thought we couldn't go on.

Even after 2011.

I hope we always keep going.

I hope we never give up.

If you haven't seen this video you have to watch it. I am SO PROUD of this woman for sharing this! Talk about brave!!!

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FASHION WRAP UP // Golden Globes 2017

Oh man! I love it when Award Season starts! I was home with a minor stomach bug today and this evening I snuggled on the couch with the dog and a notepad and let the red carpet fashion heal me!! Amen!!  

I love an award show red carpet like this where there is almost no in between....looks were either fabulous or a train wreck!  Let's jump right in to the fashion fray.

BEST DRESSED

BEST METALLICS - Amy Adams looked gorgeous in this dark metallic. Her accessories were spot on and so was the hair and make-up. Newcomer Ruth Nega arrived with bang with this perfectly sleek styling! The dress is so modern and her make-up was the real star of the look!

BEST UNEXPECTED LOOKS - When I first saw Evan Rachel Wood I didn't think I liked it. Then I looked again and I thought I might. Then I looked some more and realized I love this look!  Unlike other women who have tried wearing a suit and ended up with an ill-fitting, boxy, mess (I'll get to you later Octavia Spenser). Evan Rachel Wood wore this perfectly tailored suit to perfection.  Olivia Culpo wore this completely out-of-the-box dress and I'm OBSESSED with it! It doesn't look like a gimmick, it just looks bad-ass.

BEST EMBELLISHED NUDE DRESSES - Tracee Ellen Ross really pulled this off. I love the dress and the hair and make-up is perfect.  I think those rings were a bit over-the-top, but I'm letting it go because she slays. If this is how Millie Bobbie Brown is going to be showing up to red carpets at age 13 then I predict a long and glorious future in fashion for her!

BEST SIMPLE SOPHISTICATION - Who can wear yellow and not look like a banana? Answer = Reese Witherspoon. Man, she looks so beautiful and timeless and glamorous.  Mandy Moore was glowing and beautiful and perfection.  The hair, the make-up, the body, the jewels, the simplicity! She was my runner up for best look of the entire night!

THE ALMOST

HAIR MISSTEPS - I can get behind a risky, fun, dress.  But if you're going to wear a really over-the-top dress you need to have tame hair, make-up, and jewels. Unfortunately, Janelle Monae wore a crazy beehive hair-do with WHITE BEADS everywhere! The humanity!!!  Sarah Paulson always takes fashion risks. I like the dress, but that HAIR!!! So dreadful! Bad color, bad roots, bad middle-part and 70's style sides.  Ugh.

ONE FATAL FLAW - I love, love, love, Anna Kendrick. This entire look is gorgeous...except...that one boob.  Asymmetrical tops like this always create uneven boobs, but this seems uncharacteristically bad in that regard. One breast is dainty and the other breast is swooshing in and taking over in a dreadful Nike logo sort of way!!  Emma Stone made just one fatal flaw.  The necklace.  This dress has so many sparkly details, particularly on the straps, that the necklace is totally wrong. If she had just had a bare neck and everything else was the same she would have been high on my best dressed list.

AGE INAPPROPRIATE - It's not you. It's the dress, Michelle Williams.  There's just something off with that dress.  The sleeves maybe? The juvenile sweetheart neckline? I'm not entirely sure, but something is amiss. Blake Lively's look is a bit too heavy (and therefore "old") for how young and beautiful she is.  Doesn't this look like a dress for an actress in her early 50's?

THE BAD LIST

FIT MATTERS - Tiziana Rocca wore a dress 5 sizes too big!!! It looks so messy. How come no one told her in the limo?! Anna Chumsky is really pretty, but this dress fits all wrong.  Look how tight it is across the chest and then baggy other places. And that very random, wide, black, strap? Don't even.

NUDE AND APPLIQUE MADNESS - When someone as curvy and naturally sexy as Sofia Vergara wears something see through with appliques over her lady bits it just looks instantly trashy. When you've got such a banging body you simply HAVE to cover it more. Remember when Nicole Kidman was miserable with Tom Cruise and always rocked the red carpet? Happiness is destroying her style.  This is Trashy Ice Queen.

FALL FROM GRACE - These women usually kill the red carpet. Not tonight. How do you make a gorgeous woman (Jessica Chastain) look like she has the shoulder of a linebacker? Put her in this dress! Then throw some craft-store beads on.  And, oh, Zoe Saldana. SO many pirate ruffles and such an ill-placed satin bow.

MUCH TOO MUCH - Kerry Washington has black spanx, gold, glitter, embellished sleeves, big earrings, a bold lip color, embellished shoes, AND a belt with random brooches pinned on it. Holy cow, girl. Dial. It. Back. I'm not a huge fan of Sarah Jessica Parker's style in general.  I usually just let it go because I know she is a fashion risk-taker. But I can't let this one go. It's the huge sleeves with the really weird milkmaid hair braid.  I just can't.

DRESS DISASTERS - The funny female curse rears it's ugly head. Kristin Wiig looks so weird in this tablecloth thrown over a yellow-nude mini dress.  I love her, but I hate this.  Felicity Jones was THIS CLOSE to winning my worst dressed of the entire night.  What the what is this? Embroidered ruffles and that dangling, embellished, bow?! I blame Zoey Deschanel for this.

BAD TAILORING AND BLAH - Oh man, Octavia Spencer has one of the best stylists in the business. Carpet after carpet she kills it. But tonight was so wrong. If you're going to wear a suit it has to be tailored perfectly.  These pants are NOT tailored perfectly. Look at the pulling in the crotch, knees and ankles. Poor Winona Ryder. She needs blush and an iron and a stylist.

THE MEN

MEN MANGLING FASHION - I wouldn't leave the men out! Donald Glover looks pretty stupid in the velour/velvet? suit. He is a serious artist and got recognized for his talent and he looked like an idiot. And, speaking of tailoring, as if the plaid wasn't bad enough Cuba Gooding Jr. picked a jacket out that was plaid AND 2 sizes too small.  Look at how ridiculous this looks!

BEST DRESSED - Ryan Gosling, you sexy beast. A white suit coat has never looked so good! Eddie Redmayne looks so handsome and dapper and British in this suit! I love it.

BEST AND WORST DRESSED!

WORST DRESSED WOMEN - It's a tie! Claire Foy looked like she stepped straight off the set of The Goldburgs/Pretty In Pink. This is horrid, 80's bridesmaid!  And, although she gets props for even attending when she is so very preggers, Natalie Portman does not get props for this awful dress/hair combo. The dress is supposed to look vintage, but instead it looks like a bad 70's cast off.  And that boofy 70's hair does not help one bit.

BEST DRESSED WOMEN - Awwww...my favorite part of the evening (and blog post)! How amazing does Kristen Bell look?! Everything is perfect from head to toe. She is glamour personified.  And Viola Davis absolutely slayed in this look! Everything is spot on.  That yellow dress is gorgeous on her and fits like a glove. And it's all working together! Bravo!!

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2017 SELF CARE MANIFESTO

I have learned a lot about myself and life in the latter half of 2016. I've been reflecting on what changes need to be made in my life in the coming year.

My friend, Angie, talks often about self care. I needed to hear this during 2016 and somehow didn't let her messages sink in. I am determined to direct focus where it needs to be in the coming year.

2017 will be the year of SELF CARE. This means a lot of things, but at the core of these vital changes are these 3 items.

1. NO MORE FAVORS - No, I will not...take your family photos, design your child's birthday party invites, make favors for your sisters baby shower, take newborn photos, design your Christmas cards, teach you how to use Photoshop via email, build your website, create your PTA fliers, or any other favors. 

Every time I say I will do these favors for people I really believe that I can get them done, but what I have learned is that I favor is not a favor if it causes stress to the person you are helping because you can't get it done in a timely manner. 

This year, no matter how capable I think I am, I will not do favors for others. Instead I will make their life easier by letting them know I can't take on anything more when I already feel completely overwhelmed with raising five children and navigating family life and worsening depression symptoms.

2. PHYSICAL & MENTAL HEALTH - This year I will finally start the process of changing antidepressant medication. I know this will be a long and maybe difficult process, but the medication I am on now is not working anymore and it's time to accept it and move forward with this difficult task. 

This year I will start seeing a therapist because I really need to start seeing a therapist. 

This year I will get that funny dry patch of skin on my shoulder checked out to make sure it's not skin cancer.

3. FOCUS FROM THE INSIDE OUT - In 2017 I will focus inward first and make sure myself and my family are completely taken care of before I serve outside. 

I will maintain more order in our home and our schedules so that I feel less frantic all the time. 

I will nurture my relationships with my children on a more consistent basis before I agree to bake seven dozen cookies for a bake sale or collate 60 scholastic flyers. 

I will put the proverbial oxygen mask on myself and then assist my family. Once we are breathing I will extend the oxygen mask to others outside of our home. 

I will update our family blog regularly not because I care about who reads it but because I want to preserve and record our families memories before they slip away.

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Year In Review // 2016

What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?  Got a family dog. Made homemade marshmallows. Hosted an ADULT Gingerbread Party. Doing a craft segment on the local News. Learned to make Puff Pastry from scratch. Performed an original essay at the Listen To Your Mother show.

What moments from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory?  Going to Odysseo by Cavalia with Evangeline. The moment the hood of our minivan flipped back and shattered the windshield while the entire family was driving on the I-15. When the results of the Presidential election were being reported. Our family mini-vacation to Snowbird.

What was your biggest achievement of the year? The success of my Light The World calendar for kids.

What was your biggest failure? Keeping the kids' schooling and schedules organized.

Did you make any resolutions? Did you keep them? Spending more one-on-one time with my kids was a success.  Losing weight was a failure.

Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing too major. I do have some sort of weird arm pain happening right now that I am unsure of. 

What was the best thing you bought? An Instant Pot.

What are your favorite photos of 2016? 

What did you get really, really, really excited about? Rode The Cannibal at Lagoon (Evangeline rode with me...front row! So scary and awesome!).

What song will always remind you of 2016? Can't Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake 

What was the best food discovery of 2016? Savory Ham & Cheddar Waffles or Sawdust Pie

What do you wish you’d done more of? Blogging on my family blog. Saying "no" to commitments I couldn't keep.

What do you wish you’d done less of? Screaming at my kids.

What was your favorite new TV show? This is Us or Speechless.

What was the best book you read? Counting By 7s 

What was your greatest musical discovery? I didn't have one. I mostly listened to NPR or audio books this year.

What was the best film you saw this year? Spotlight

What did you want and get? More friends in Utah and a family dog.

What did you want and not get? A minivan that works properly and is reliable.

What's something you fell in love with? Trevor Noah. He's a "someone", but it still counts.

What was your family's favorite kid's book? We read and re-read The Sneetches and Other Stories this year. It's a classic we fell in love with.

What kept you sane? My girlfriends and a good therapist.

Who was the best new person you met? I met SO MANY new friends, mostly through blogging. But the very best new person I met was my new nephew Owen.

What was a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016? I need to do MUCH BETTER at self care. After a very difficult year for our family, around the first week of December I broke down.  After bearing the load for the family for so long I finally snapped. In the new year I need to continue to take care of myself more.

PAST Years in Review: 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015

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