I just ruined your research paper

My friend Emilie (a.k.a. Duper) called me to interview me for a class project about words you can't pull up immediately (the 'tip of my tongue' syndrome).  She asked me question specifically designed to produce this effect.

Duper: What's the word for keeping chickens warm as they prepare to hatch?

Me: Incubate!

Duper: What were the character names of the three male leads on "Saved By the Bell".

Me: Zack Morris, AC (Albert Clifford) Slater and Screech, whose real name was Samuel Powers.

Duper: What was the name of the Jetson's dog.

Me: Astro!

RESULTS: You don't want me to help you with your paper on word memory, but you DO want me on your Trivial Pursuit team.

1

Let's Talk about Wednesday

There are some days which seem to start to innocuously that there is no foreshadowing of what is to transpire that day.  Wednesday was such a day.

I woke up and got the redheads off to school.  We had found Evangeline's missing school planner and signed all of the papers needed. Winning.

When I heard the baby wake up I went in to get her from her crib and she smelled awful. I picked her up and sat on the edge of my bed (her crib is still in our room since she refuses to sleep through the night and she would have to share a room with Jude otherwise) and that's when she vomited all over me and the bed. She has been getting her first teeth this month and she has been running a small fever and throwing up when one is due to come in.  

I took her straight into the bathroom and gave her a bath.

As soon as she was dressed in clean clothes I set her to play in the living room (corralled by gates at the stairs) and gathered up all of my bedding and her bedding to be washed and rid of the barf.  I headed down two small staircases on my way to the basement, arms filled with laundry.  At the last small staircase I stepped on a sneaker which was left on the top step and which I couldn't see because my arms were laden with bed linens. Down the stairs I went.

This was a very bad fall.  I sat in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, sobbing, surrounded by puke-covered sheets and blankets (romantic picture, right?).  Bianca came to me to comfort me, but I shooed her away because I didn't want her to step in the barf blankets. Jude looked at me sadly, not sure what to do since this was a pretty serious cry-fest for me.

After I composed myself a bit (but still crying) I hobbled into the laundry room and started the load of bedding.  In retrospect, this is kind of funny...MUST. GET. LAUNDRY. STARTED. I'm officially a Mom.

I took this photo less than 5 minutes after the fall. That's not a shadow on the left side of my foot - it's bruising. (Insert profane words here).

Then I hobbled upstairs and called Matt.  I was sure something was broken (I was guessing multiple toes and not my foot).  I could walk, but only if I walked on the heel of my foot. Any pressure on my upper-foot sent the pain skyrocketing.  We discussed if Matt should come home from work and we both decided I had better get it checked out.

Matt came home and dropped me at Urgent Care.  I took two dum-dums because, dammit, I deserve two.

After 2 hours and x-rays I was told nothing was broken (yay!). I could not believe it! I got orders to stay off it, ice it, and keep it elevated for the rest of today. If I still can't walk in it by tomorrow it's time for a medical boot....and just look at all of the stylin' options available. Holy ugly...I'm pretty sure that leopard option is from the Fran Drescher Collection.

I came home and lay on the couch all day long. It was seriously difficult. I am NOT used to this and I kept trying to get up to help with the kids.  While I lay on the couch I was entertained by Mr. Bucket Head.

In the evening we got a text from Matt's Dad that Grandpa Ahern had passed away.  Matt's parents had received word that he was in hospice care and the end was near. They planned on driving down on Thursday or Friday to be with him, but Grandpa wanted to go home sooner than that. Grandpa was peaceful and just stopped breathing with the hospice nurse by his side, holding his hand.

Grandpa Ahern was Matt's last living Grandparent.  His wife, Yvonne, passed a few years back.  I hope they are having a sweet reunion in Heaven.

Rest in peace, Grandpa. Until we meet again.

2

This & That Thursday and Colin Firth

Stop making us fall in love with you even more, Colin.
Not fair.

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Sometimes when I can't sleep I enroll in online classes by Ali Edwards.
No one can blame me for that.

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Recently Matt and I heard a guy leaving his group of friends say,
"Word to your mother."

Super embarrassed for him.

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Someone tell me WHY craft stores
have the smallest shopping carts ever!?!

I can't take it any more!

Don't they know that the bigger the
carts the more product people buy?
It is retail 101!!!

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Cecilia did her first real crazy-dancing tonight to
Are You Gunna Go My Way by Lenny Kravitz.

I have NEVER been so proud.

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If it weren't for podcasts I would never clean the house.
Whatever works, right?

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I almost rescued a kitten recently.
And then I remembered that I can barely keep my kids alive.
Let's not add another life to the mix.

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I am eternally grateful that none of my kids
are currently into watching Caillou.
Peppa Pig reigns supreme.

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*Random Observation:
Recent events have made me think
I give off a vibe, even to strangers,
that they can be real around me.

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What do you think of all the crafty Teacher Gifts
that dominate Pinterest these days?

Are you loving it OR giving a simple gift card?

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4

UPDATES from the MONKEY VILLAGE

the DADDY - Matt has been spending a bit of extra time at work these days in order to be more organized at his job.  He's been making personal goals at work and home and is following through. I'm proud of him!

the MOMMY - is getting ready to host my first Craft Club that I started with my friend Lolly. I'm also hosting a book club in September and getting the house more in order now that school has started again. I love the routine that the school year brings. 

the ELLA - is loving 5th grade! She has declared her current teacher as her favorite ever. This seems to be linked to a pinata making an appearance in the classroom on the first day of school. I am so happy any time she enjoys school since it has been such a struggle for her. She is having a bit of a hard time finding a new group of friends where she feels valued in this new class.

the EVANGELINE - loves her 3rd grade experience so far.  She is a great reader and blazed through all of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books this Summer and is now reading the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. She is struggling just a bit with keeping track of all of her own homework and school responsibilities this year. I feel like 3rd grade is when that really ramps up, but I'm sure she'll get the hang of it before long.

the BIANCA - is DYING for her pre-school to start. She's pretty sick of hanging out with me all day. It starts up in 2 weeks and we just ordered her a Peppa Pig backpack for school. She requests doing homework every day so I have her practicing writing her name properly (Capital letter to start and correct letter size, etc). She is currently obsessed with gender roles and labels every activity and item as a "boy" or a "girl" thing.

the JUDE - is still the happiest boy on earth, although he is just starting to test the boundaries of discipline.  He is equally obsessed as Bianca with Peppa Pig and loves George (whom he calls Joge because of the diminished R in the British accent...so cute!)  He still hates attending Nursery at church. He gives out the cutest kisses at bedtime and is talking up a storm these days.

the CECILIA - has really come alive recently and is charming us all with her suddenly sparkly personality. She is always on the go and can crawl up our small staircase is .2 seconds when my back is turned.  She is passionate about food, but still loves her bottle.  She is getting closer to sleeping through the night (parenting fail) and has one little tooth.

the FAMILY - is still filling our Summer bucket list.  We are planning a visit to a water park, considering a weekend camping trip, and still loving the backyard hammock. We are busily making plans for our upcoming Autumn birthday parties.

1

RECIPE | Garlic Cilantro Lime Rice

Since Cafe Rio opened in Utah there have been 101 incantations of this recipe, mimicking their famous rice.  And this is my version.  It's probably substantially similar to others out there and, if I remember correctly, I think I started with Pioneer Woman's recipe and made changes from there.

Garlic Cilantro Lime Rice

Recipe by Emilie Ahern

Makes: 6 side servings

Ingredients

2 cups long-grain rice
1 tablespoon oil

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 large onion, chopped

1 teaspoon kosher salt

2 cups low-sodium chicken broth

3/4 cup water

Zest of half a lime

Juice of 2 limes (or 4 Tbsp. lime juice…1 Tbsp. reserved)

Chopped fresh cilantro

Directions

1. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the garlic and onions and cook for 3 to 4 minutes until onions are completely softened. Add rice and salt.

2. Cook for 3 minutes, stirring constantly to make sure the rice toasts, but doesn't burn.

3. Add broth, water, lime zest and the lime juice and bring it to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes or until the rice is done.

4. Just before serving, stir in the reserved lime juice and lots of chopped cilantro.

0

Reunited (and it feels so good)

My computer is baaack!!!

I am spending the morning editing photos from a recent photo shoot that are WAY overdue because of my stupid computer illness.

This family has been very gracious and patient in waiting for their photos. Thanks guys!

In related news: I was asked to shoot a wedding and I said no. Am I stupid? It's too much pressure and I would probably never stop vomiting the entire time from nervousness.  Wedding photos are a BIG deal.

4

Ella's time capsule

Ella's 5th grade teacher is putting together personal time capsules for each of her students.  She asked the parents to think of things to include. So tonight we sat down together and I interviewed her and, interestingly enough, I got some answers I had no idea of.  Maybe because I was digging deeper or really thinking of questions that would indicate where she was at this very moment.  This capsule is to be opened at her High School graduation which will be Summer of 2023.

Ella B. Ahern as of August 2015

Age: 10

Height: 4’ 8”

What are you looking most forward to at 18: College, having my own room.

Favorite Color: Neon colors

Favorite Singer: Ariana Grande

Favorite TV Show: Star Vs. the Forces of Evil or React to That

Biggest Fears: flying in airplanes, shots

Proudest Moment: playing viola

Best Friends: Katie and Ella Bella

Favorite Game: Minecraft

My perfect day would be: Going to LegoLand with my cousin Max.

Favorite foods: Einstein Bros. bagels with cream cheese and bacon.

I love: music, computer brain (imagination), money, swimming

I hate: shots and when people say “li-berry”

Favorite piece of clothing: my new leather jacket

Favorite place to visit: Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, Max’s house.

When I grow up I want to be: a pop musician or and engineer

Do you want to get married: Yes, when I’m 20-something.

Do you want to have kids: Yes. 3 kids.

What is your dream car: a hover-car or hover-skateboard

What one place do you want to visit: LegoLand

If you had $20 what would you buy? a chair that hangs off the ceiling and you sit in it (from IKEA).

What’s your favorite sport? Gymnastics/Tumbling

Favorite book: Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

What’s your favorite dessert? Chocolate Lava Cake with Ice Cream

What do you want to study in College? Music

Where do you want to live when you grow up? Utah, Pennsylvania, or California.

Do you want to serve a mission? No.

What kinds of boys do you think are cute? Boys with dark brown hair. Blonds look like they’re bald because their hair is too light.

Who is your celebrity crush? Jax from Every Witch Way or Max Thunderman from The Thundermans

What do you want 18 year old Ella to be like? Still believe in magic and fairies, I hope I still have red hair, be in choir or a band. No tattoos. Pierced ears.

What super-power would you like to have? Imagibility. I made it up. It’s when anything you imagine appears.

THE WORLD TODAY

#1 Song: Cheerleader by OMI

#1 Movie: Straight Outta Compton

#1 Kids Movie: Inside Out

#1 Book: Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee

#1 Kids’ Book: What Pet Should I Get by Dr. Seuss (recently found)

#1 TV Show: The Big Bang Theory

Major Celebrities: Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Ryan Gosling, Jennifer Lawrence, Melissa McCarthy

In the News: Candidates for the 2016 Presidential election (especially Donald Trump), water shortage in California, US Nuclear talks with Iran, Outbreaks of eradicated diseases from anti-vaccinations.

WHAT THINGS COST

Gallon of gas: $2.76

Candy bar: $1.25

Bag of Doritos: $3.75

Loaf of Bread: $3.00

7

My computer is trying to destroy my life goals

I am due to cut out 30 paper super hero masks and gazillions of embellishments by Friday for Evangeline's 3rd grade class. 

I decided to NOT be a butt-dog and leave this until the last minute (like I always do). When I was younger the last-minute pressure always brought out the best in me creatively. If I try that method now I find myself at 3:09 am the night before a due date, sobbing, and spiralling into a self-loathing pit. 

So, here I was on Tuesday morning, breaking the cycle. I sat down atthe  computer, ready to design masks and embellishments and hit the mighty CUT button on my Silhouette Cameo, thereby conquering my old habits. But my computer would not turn on. I tried again. Nope. And again. Still no. 

Blerg. 

I loaded the kids up and took our sick conputer to the nerd store. An hour, $35, and a phone call later I was told the power source needs replacing and it will cost $150 and take a week. This is the point at which I sat on the couch in my living toom and cried about if for a bit. Then I got on Facebook and begged my friend Tracy to come pick me up in her semi and take me away from this place for a road-truckin' vacation. 

And so I won't be doing too much life-changing blogging until we figure this out. As someone old enough to remember life before home computers it's a little pathetic how dependent I am on them now. 

1

Halloween with Ariana Grande

When you have kids you think you're going to spending Halloween hunting down witch costumes and pinning cat tails on black leotards.  Not so in the Ahern household.

This year Ella has declared that she wants to wear a certain outfit from a certain 2 second clip of a certain Ariana Grande video. So, off I went to YouTube with my screen-capture-trigger-finger all ready. 

Here it is in all its glory.

So.....a really poofy skirt with pink and purple tulle sandwiched in between black tulle. Throw in black tights, some black Madonna gloves and we're all set. But what is she gunna say when people ask her what she is? A "Goth Girl"...maybe??

Luckily Evangeline is going as an Angel, Bianca as a Chinese Girl, Jude as a Pilot and Cecilia as a cupcake. Those are all fairly normal requests so I think I can handle one out-of-the-box costume request per year.

0

A Day in the Life // AUGUST 12, 2015

Last week I documented my day through a series of photos.  I decided to go with all black & white photos this time, which is hard for me. I am a lover of color photos.  

I planned this day a week early so it would be a typical day and then we ended up going to the County Fair at the last minute, so it wasn't very typical, but still worthwhile since having these fun evenings IS a part of our life. 

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7:46 AM // the redheads are up and ready for breakfast. evangeline gets a pb&j while ella has multigrain cheerios. it's the 3rd day of school. overheard at the breakfast table:

ella: what's your school computer password, eva?

eva: i can't tell you. i promised on a piece of paper i wouldn't.

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8:09 AM // the redheads leave for school with much fanfare; waving and kisses and songs and hugs for everyone. this process takes at least ten minutes, but i don't mind because it's so cute. jude and bianca sit side by side, eating their breakfast of cereal and almond milk. the baby is still asleep. all is quiet.

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8:32 AM // cecilia is awake so we go into her room singing and clapping and cheering. she is a baby who is adored.

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9:47 AM // during the summer bianca hung out with the redheads a lot, but since school started this week she and jude are best buddies. they spent all morning chasing each other around the main floor loop, growling like monsters, and laughing hysterically.

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10:21 AM // errands with the three little ones.

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11:29 AM // at home depot getting wood blocks cut for a craft night i'm running tomorrow evening.

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11:31 AM // these two are riding together in the cart at home depot thanks to our new "buggy bench".

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11:57 AM // lunch. peanut butter and no-sugar-added jam on whole wheat.

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12:30 PM // cecilia and jude go down for naps. jude must nap under his favorite ocean quilt, sipping his favorite water bottle, snuggling his favorite stuffy (george from "peppa pig").

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12:45 PM // i am reading a magazine while bianca lines up the star wars figurines for battle.

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1:33 PM // the final page of "entertainment weekly" is always so satisfying.

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2:39 PM // the babies are both awake. we're all going downstairs in a minute, but until then miss c has to deal with the baby gate.

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3:04 PM // the little kids are watching "madagascar" while i clean. i try and limit their tv time to 1 hour each day. this last hour before the redheads come home is the perfect time.

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3:28 PM // blogged the redheads' first day of school.

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4:23 PM // the redheads are home from school and it's homework time. since it's the first week of school the only homework is reading every night for 30 minutes, which happens to be our family rule anyway.

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4:39 PM // bianca wants in on the homework too. i have her practicing her name on a wipe-off handwriting sheet.

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4:57 PM // evangeline is reading "knuffle bunny" aloud to bianca. it's not part of her reading homework it is just for fun.

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5:02 PM // applesauce pouch for little c.

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5:07 PM // ...and she got the applesauce all over herself and rubbed in her hair. bath time.

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5:16 PM // washed and dressed and ready for mischief.

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5:58 PM // dinner time. asain chicken over garlic lime rice with dumplings.

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6:59 PM // arrive at the davis county fair.

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7:21 PM // watching the elephant show at the fair. amazing.

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7:28 PM // fulfilled my bucket list item to ride an elephant. it was legitimately magical.

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7:41 PM // ella spends her saved money to ride in the human hamster ball.

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7:58 PM // daddy and evangeline have a date with the ferris wheel.

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8:14 PM // jude rides (and loves) the carousel.

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8:22 PM // leaving the fair with an exhausted, sobbing, cecilia.

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9:01 PM // the kids are all in bed and i'm watching "catfish", which i'm obsessed with.

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10:25 PM // matt has been trying to get his car to run for two months now. he finally got it all fixed and drove it to work today... and the check engine light came on. blast! so he is in the garage, with a huge dr. pepper 10, running a few more tests.

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10:51 PM // a little laundry washing, drying, and folding before bed. it never, never ends.

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11:51 PM // heading to bed soon. tomorrow i'll get up and do it all again (but with far fewer elephants).

1